Yesterday my sweet neighbor Rachel brought our family the most wonderful dinner. I had to work yesterday for a few hours and I was a little frazzled trying to do so much. I just feel guilty that I'm not able to do things like I used to be able to.
I was so thankful that she came over and eased by load. My "cute" husband was up in bed and he heard our conversation as she came to drop off the food. She asked..."Are you doing okay." My reply was that "I'm great." I did not even think about what I said. I try to be REALLY strong. I just don't like to break down in front of people and especially around my boys and Ty. It's easier to say... "I'm great."
I went upstairs and checked on Ty when she left. He said... "you shouldn't say that your great when your not." I was a little in shock. I never thought about it. I realized he was right and yet it's just how I am getting by. So I am going to TRY really hard to accept the sweet acts of kindness around me. I am going to be "okay" with admitting I am struggling a bit to do it all.
I think more than anything I am sad to see Ty going through so much pain. It looks like the agressive treatment to treat him is really hard on him. The past few days has been difficult. Tyler's pain after his second treatment has kept him in bed and in constant intense pain. We think it is from the $7,500 shot (yes, that is not a typo) that he gets with each of his treatments. It causes him so much pain and he is up all night long. I try to stay up with him but usually I will fall asleep and then wake up to check on him. I feel hopeless with helping to make it better- I know I can't. I rub his lower back at times and we have to be really quiet in the house. The sounds are hard for him and hurts his head. This is our new normal for now. The kids have been so amazing and I feel so much appreciation for them.
Today I had to go run a quick errand and I just "lost" it in the car. I bet the cars driving past me would think I was a complete mess. I cried not for me. I am so much pain because of how much pain Tyler is in. This just makes me so sad. So I guess you should know that I am okay... but not all the time. I have many moments of just being so thankful. I am thankful that we found the cancer and are treating it. I am so thankful for the Huntsmen Cancer Institute so close to us. I am so thankful that I have a STRONG family and support.
I know today I am more emotional. I know my dear friends are suffering from the loss of their dad and husband. The viewing and funeral is going to be hard.
So now let me share some GOOD NEWS... my company is thriving and growing. I am even hiring anothers sales assistant. I need someone about 25 hours a week in North Salt Lake. If interested, please email me. I am growing as a company and in this economy... I just feel like God is blessing our family. Did I mention Santa's List is almost entirely sold out? All the lines were a HUGE success. So I need more help to continue to grow.
Also.....I am teaching in Arkansas again.
I am actually teaching JUST one day- NOVEMBER 8th. I am teaching THREE workshops which are separate from the event but hosted by the event. I am doing a quick trip- flying home the next day. This event is about 400 participants. It is hosted by The Scrapbook Attic. You sign up for my workshops through them. Each workshop is 3 hours long. I thought I would share what I will be teaching-
This is the CHRISTMAS MEMORY BINDER WORKSHOP-
Next, I am teaching a Family Stories FLIP UP book project-
Yes, please come and bring lots of your family photos. I recommend 4x4, 4x6 and 5x7. Oh, and everyone gets their own FAMILY STORIES stamp in the workshop class kit.
The last workshop is the MEMORABILIA- JUST BECAUSE project:
Yes, we will be using my new TC eBosser machine and folders. This project is so pretty. It's definitely going to be full of technique.
Embossing is just HOT and so on trend right now!!!!
To sign up please contact THE SCRAPBOOK ATTIC in Searcy Arkansas directly. *projects Christmas and Memorabilia will be taught one other time in CANADA at Clipper Street.
I love designing projects and I love teaching. I consider myself the LUCKIEST girl to do something that I love and feel so passionate about. Preserving memories... I am constantly pushing myself to be a MEMORY MAKER.
Just wanted to share one last thing... when I feel a little down- I just tell myself to STOP and think- COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS name them ONE BY ONE... and I quickly release that I am beyond blessed.
