Okay... it happened. The call I knew was coming. I felt it deep in my heart. I woke up early this morning with a busy day. I went to the Salt Lake Temple with my girlfriends first thing. It was only 5:30 am...a great way to start the day. I got home and went to the hospital. I was scheduled to have my surgery. The dreaded vein surgery to get rid of a big problem vein that I had surgery on 13 years ago. Who knew that the big ugly bulging vein could come back? It's so rare... like a extra wisdom tooth but it happened. I arrive and the nurses looks at me weird. They get my chart and realize that they had not done the pre-op with my insurance. I would have to wait two or three weeks until the insurance would okay the procedure.
I was so okay with this. I just had a feeling that there was a reason. Hmmmm.... So I went about my day and got so many things done. I had a lot of business and designing to do and I was very productive. LOVE these days! I got a call that was so unexpected and again KNEW was a very good thing for my business and the future. Wow... CHA Winter is going to be BIG!!!! Yes, I am working on things. It's what I love and wow, do I feel giddy in excitement.
However, ALL DAY I was dealing with some big time feelings that I "knew" that McKay was struggling. I think as a mother you just "SENSE" with things are happening.
McKay went to school on Monday. She is at BYU- it's about 45 minutes from our home. She went alone (no friends went that she knew) and she was put into a apartment with four girls who are just there for the Summer and not even attending school. They are bff's and so it was a little hard to come into a place where everyone is already bestest friends. They are nice to her, but she is pretty much alone.
She goes to school and the classes are intense, WAY fast paced and HARD. This is stressing her out and last night when she called I could tell she was feeling unsure. Then tonight... after feeling and knowing McKay was having a hard time, that gut feeling- I get the call.
McKay calls me sobbing and she just can't stop crying. She is REALLY home sick. She is alone and feeling overwhelmed and no one from her family is there. It broke my heart. There is really nothing I can do to help her. I offered to get in my car and come see her right away or even the next day... BUT ... she said..."No, I will be okay." I told her how when I was her age and flew out to attend college, I had done the SAME thing. I called my mom and begged her to buy me a plane ticket back to NC. She said she couldn't let me do that and I needed to give college a try. She said if I still felt so homesick after 2 weeks she would let me come home. Oh, I just knew in 2 weeks I would be going back home. However, I somehow survived and loved college and stuck it out.
I started thinking... I told McKay that we love and miss her so much and we are always there for her but for her to try to focus on her studies. What could I really do or say? It's just a life experience that a lot of us have to face, right? I called both her sisters and told them how my heart is heavy and I hated to hear her cry. Then I thought about it and I realized that although I am not happy at all that she is so homesick... I am so GRATEFUL to know how much she loves her family so much. Our family is so close and we are always there for each other. She is just missing us.
It is true... FAMILY is EVERYTHING.
I love being a designer, I love being creative... but it is NOTHING compared to being a mama. I tell you I think being a mother is my greatest blessing. Wow, but do I feel like I just don't know all the answers. I wish I knew what to say to make her feel better tonight. I was attempting to find the right words or the best advice, but it did not come.
I let her know that her crazy family loves her and that no matter how far apart we are... we are a family and what a blessing this is. It's crazy to think when my kids were younger they fought like CRAZY at times. Now, they are best friends.
If anyone has any good "home sickness" advice... let me know!
I am just feeling especially grateful that SHE knows that FAMILY is what it's all about and because of that she does miss us. LOVE YOU MCKAY!!!!!!!
