I have been having a really hard week. I think it hit me hard this week. I came home from Canada with many things on the to do list. I now had to face that in one week Ty was going to be admitted to the hospital.
Okay... I had no idea that I would have a melt down this week. I have not wanted to blog. I have went into shut down mode. I did not want to come on here and be a downer. Yes, this week, I have cried way too often and I have been more emotional than I expected.
Yesterday, I had a company come in that will be coming in to deep clean and filter the house to clean the germs that exists (air ducts)etc. The lady was going over the process I started to cry. Then I was at the bank going over the accounts and transfering money and I felt the tears coming and I had to hold it together. Or the time my neighbor called and asked if they could bring us dinner next week and the tears just started pouring out and all I could do was thank them for helping us. I am so thankful and so humbled right now. My heart is so tender as I prepare to take my husband on this journey. I have been emotional... so overly emotional this week....
We had to buy a new bed and mattress for Ty when he returns home. It has been a lot to get done. I have been cleaning my house like a crazy woman. I am purging and trying to get rid of things to have a cleaner house. There is so much to get done. I have so many things that must get done while he is in the hospital. I know I can do those things. I am fine with all the "to do" lists and getting the house REALLY clean. I have no idea how many weeks he will be in the hospital. They have no idea how he will respond to the BEAM chemo and then the transplant.
I know I am rambling.... The thought of what he is going to face and endure is what literally BREAKS my heart. I know he will feel alone and endure so much pain. This is hard for me to think about. He will be fighting for his life and I am going to have to be really strong for him. I cry because I love him so much. I hate what CANCER has done to Tyler and to so many people in this world. It is a HORRIBLE battle for any person to go through.
In a few short minutes we go to the hospital again this week for another appointment. We have his port changed and cleaned today and meet with the bone marrow specialist- Dr. Boyer for the final time until he is admitted on Tuesday. We have so many questions. So many concerns. I just wanted to let you know why I am not really ONLINE and not around as much. I am just focused on Ty and my kids.
GLENDA KERR you won the SPOT in the 12 ARTSY ORNAMENT WORKSHOP- please email me!!!!