McKay is in the MTC in Provo Utah. I did not expect to feel so sad and happy at the same time. How is this possible? One minute I am crying and the next I am thinking how wonderful this is. The tears have flowed often and I hope that it gets easier... right now, it's honestly hard. It makes me realize how military and other missionary parents and family feel. It has really given a new perspective on sacrifice. We started yesterday with tears on and off. McKay finally was more emotional and crying. She was scared and I wanted to be more "upbeat" to not make her more nervous. She was so nervous thinking she wouldn't be a good missionary and also that she will be learning to speak Spanish. She cried when she talked to her dad and Taylor. She said she did not want to say goodbyes anymore since it was so hard on her. I tried to keep the conversations as light/fun as possible.
Ty, the boys and I drove McKay to Provo. We met Devan and Gentry and went to JDAWGS to eat lunch (McKay's choice). I avoided looking at McKay in the eyes. She kept tearing up. We then went to YOGURTLAND and then to the Provo Temple to take photos together. She was scheduled to be dropped off at the MTC at 1:30 pm. She was excited and very nervous. She has always wanted to serve a mission. I reminded her how this was her dream and that I was so thankful she was able to do this. This is completely voluntary and a missionary's choice to go serve.
As we walked from the temple to the car, I just could not stop the tears from flowing. I then felt horrible. I knew that I needed to be strong. As we drove to into the MTC parking lot, they had so many missionaries waving and welcoming the new missionaries. They were so friendly and smiling. We pulled up to the curb and they came to the car to greet and take McKay with them. I gave her the biggest hug and told her how proud I was of her and how much I loved her. They got her two big 50 lb bags out of our trunk and I saw Ty give her a big hug. Then I knew it was time to go.
McKay walked over to me and hugged me again and said..." I love you so much mommy." Oh my... it was hard to leave her. I think they are smart to have the quick drop offs. I got in the car and just cried and cried. I really hope she did not see me or realize how hard today was for me. I wonder if all missionary mom's do this or am I the only one who couldn't control the flood gates?
I am going to Italy this morning and I should have come home and packed. I couldn't. I could have come home and went right to bed but I knew this was not at all good for me.
I spent the entire day cleaning her room. I opened all her dressers and washed every single item of clothes that she owns. I washed, folded and put them all back neatly. I organized all her jewerly and stuff she had not done. I think she put it off and since I could not be with her, I wanted to feel close to her. I deep cleaned her room and did her laundry. I just needed to be alone and allow myself to feel sad. Then of course, there is the guilt that I feel for feeling sad. Oh my... I need to be stronger and realize what a great thing she is doing. I am just being honest in that I am having major heartache missing her. I know in time it will get easier... or that is my hope. I just think last night was the hardest because I was more worried about her. This morning a new perspective and I KNOW she is going to love her mission and do well. I am so thankful for weekly emails, a few phone calls and that I can send her packages and letters. I am even going to join a missionary mom group- I want ideas on how to truly support her and Seth.
I thought I would share photos from her farewell on Sunday. I wish that Matt and Kayla and the kids could have been here but they had just been here for Gentry's wedding. It was the perfect weekend and day to come together to tell her goodbye.
I wanted to make sure I shared the photo with my cute husband Ty. He doesn't like to have his photo taken and I am so thankful for a photo on Fathers Day and McKay's farewell.
Just call me puffy eyes... crying the last week- entirely way too much. I should clarify so many are good tears. We have laughed and cried and had a great time preparing her to go. I am so happy for her.
My three girls. Gentry, McKay and Taylor. So thankful that they are truly best friends. They are super close to Kayla too. I look forward to the day Kayla & Matt moves back with the babies so too. They hope to move back to Utah some day so that we are all closer.
Sister McKay Pier- Seattle Washington Spanish Speaking Mission. She will serve until December 16, 2014.
Okay... I will post the other photos soon. I am truly thankful for McKay and all my children. They mean the world to me. Our family is super close. I am so thankful that I have taught them that family is everything. *missing Seth and Matt- yes, 7 kids!!!!! That is what I am most HAPPY about... my kids get it. They are all so close. Now we have Kayla and Devan and we just love them so much. It's true LOVE GROWS!!!!
I'm up early today. I just packed for Italy. Thankful for a great nights sleep and feeling comforted in KNOWING that McKay will be fine. I have faith in her and what she is doing. I am even sending her a package today before I head to the airport. She forget a few things. Yes, that is so typical her. I love this about her.
Italy here we come!!!!!!!!!