I'm at the Charlotte airport waiting to board the flight with McKay. My heart is tender and I'm sitting here with tears. Why do I have to be so emotional? I KNEW that I needed to come home. I believe in many ways it was for ME much more than my family here. I needed to be see them. I love my family so much. We have a very small family here. Other than my sister, I have lost close contact with my cousins (all are female). My parents and grandparents have all died and this makes me sad. I appreciate family so much...
I am from a city called Hickory, North Carolina. It is about 45 minutes from Charlotte. I was born and raised here. I never had even been on a airplane until I was 18 and headed out west to go to college. I was scared to death. I never knew that I would marry and never live in the South with my family. It was so hard on my family. It has been hard. My mom, Shelley (my sister) and I were so close. I only regret not being able to be with them more.
The day after I got here, we visited the grave of my parents and my grandparents. How am I still in denial that she has been gone for ten years? We took new flowers for graves. I have to be honest, I feel her presence more at the home we grew up in. I walked in the door and I felt her spirit. The house still smells like my mama.
I spent so much time with my nieces Kayla and Miranda. They are sweet girls and I am so proud of them. I am proud of my sister Shelley who raised them. She was basically a single mom with no financial support and she did things that amaze me. She worked two jobs at times and her children adore her. I love them so much. I realize that my sister and I are very similar in so many ways. We laugh and joke A LOT and this is how we communicate. We both put our children on a pedestal.
When I heard about the shootings, I kept crying. I am beyond mad that this happened. I am sad beyond words and my heart aches. It is so tragic and wrong. I can't believe this is the world we live in. It makes me realize how precious every single moment we have is important. We need to make these moments, each day special. We need to appreciate the simple moments and truly not get upset over the things that simply do not matter.
I loved taking the girls shopping and to lunch.
Yes, we decided to go to Skateland. Oh, I have lost my balance. It was so funny. My sister and I used to go with our friends every weekend from the time we were 12-14 years old. Good memories!!!!!
I took my sweet youngest daughter McKay with me. She loved NC. I truly adored sharing where I am from with here. I have five children by birth and two bonus sons. It is important to me to have "one on one" time with the kids. I want to really know them and for them to know me. This trip was especially sweet. I saw my cousins. It was twenty years ago that I last saw my cousin. I am so proud of her. She went a hard course and got lost into the world of drugs and prostitution. She was in and out of jail, and almost died from being stabbed and hurt on many occassions. I never judged, but felt helpless to help. She got clean a few years ago. She is married and so happy. She found God and now has many little babies. She is my age. I cannot tell you how I believe that she is my inspiration. I love her and I am thankful that she survived. My trip has truly been such a blessing.
Okay... we are boarding. More later.......
